Differences btwn ENFJ and INFJ

I'm a fairly balanced ENFJ with a strong Fe as well as a strong Ni - which basically translates to me being happy both introverted and introspecting, or extroverted and gregarious. 



How Fe allows a person to become extroverted is that no matter what the situation is, how dire, or how draining, the Fe-user has an inherent pull to engage the other person. At the same time, engaging other people adds to our energy - i.e. the more we engage the other person, the more energized we get.

Practically, one of the biggest differences between ENFJ's and INFJ's is the amount and use of this energy. ENFJ's are not uncommonly likened to a perpetual energy drink. The more we get of people, the more we want of them. 


My experience with the ENFJ energy
- One of the biggest noticeable difference b/w ENFJ's and INFJ's not by looking at how we socialize, because the functions pretty much hold most of our socialization methods constant [with respect to judgement of people, using instincts to read people, helping them etc] ... but how much we socialize. INFJ's though can be outspoken, able to lead in certain group situations will eventually tire of extended social contact. Whereas, the ENFJ will continue to go. We interact in much the same way as INFJ's ... it's just that we interact with more and more people given the opportunity and for longer hours. 

- With positive interactions [it's important to note this because our energy drains in negative interactions], ENFJ's continue to maintain a strong level of energy before, during and after the interaction. Even though we are planners and love to go by the appointment book, we are a little more inclined than INFJ's to be spontaneous and engage in impulsive plan-making. We can normally switch between spontaneity and planning depending on the situation being perfectly happy in either scenario - as long as the end result allows us to engage our Fe with respect to pleasing people.

The Key Difference in Relationship Management

- Being social animals, ENFJ's actually have very defined standards of maintaining relationships. It can be broken down into a science. Sometimes, we make many friends depending on mutual fulfilment of needs. E.g. If there is a certain interest that I have in a particular trade / craft / science, then I would actively seek the friendship of the person that is involved in that trade so that I can get as much information about that craft straight from the horse's mouth. 

This may seem a little selfish - however, how Fe works in this scenario is that we prefer to offer our help / service to the other person with their trade / craft in order to become friends. It becomes a symbiotic friendship. We repeat the same process with other individuals till we reach a point where all of our own needs are being met through our social interactions - and also our own need to give is being met by allowing us to do favours to the person we're involved with <-- this is actually our most preferred mode of behaviour.

Like the INFJ's, ENFJ's are also drawn towards the down-trodden underdog. We have a strong need to provide some sort of a service to the ailing individual [for ENFJ males, the Damsel in Distress is the ultimate temptress]. The difference is that INFJ's would be more inclined to talk the person through their problems whereas ENFJ's would be more inclined to invite the person for an intimate walk, an engaging phone-call, a coffee 'date'. Also, the difference is in how much we can engage the other person. If the other person really needs, we can engage them for a full 10-15 hours before feeling ourselves getting worn down.

Now imagine the above and trying to do that as an INFJ for about 5-10 people at the same time. That would be I think one of the key differences. ENFJ's are more inclined to take more people on as projects then INFJ's would.

We have a very keen memory [when it comes to people's problems - not day-to-day routine things] and also the ability to compartmentalize our feelings for different individuals. 
Are ENFJ's as Committed as INFJ's?

One of the most common questions I've seen is that just because people see the ENFJ as a social animal, they immediately assume that an ENFJ would probably be an emotional, or a physical cheat. That is interestingly not the case. An ENFJ, though extremely social is very unlikely to cheat on their SO's. One of the reasons for this is that our Fe is at it's max when thinking about the SO --- therefore no other individual gets the same priority. Even when feelings start developing --- we get an immediate warning from within that forces us to realize that we may be erring and could potentially be causing harm to our SO - therefore even though we have many friends to fulfil some of our emotional needs, we don't let them get to a point where those friends would "replace" the value of our SO.

Do ENFJ's have deep thoughts about saving the world like INFJ's?

Another question that comes up frequently is whether ENFJ's are capable of using Ni the same way as INFJ's to have deep thoughts about the world or not? ... and the answer is yes ... ENFJ's are very much the same in their use of Fe Ni as the INFJ's --- the difference comes in that INFJ's are more likely to be literary authors of the revolutionary statement whereas the ENFJ would be the most likely person to carry the message to the people. A classic example of a saviour ENFJ is Martin Luther King.

Are ENFJ's Introverted?

Depending on the development of the Ni and the balance with Fe, ENFJ's can be just as introverted as INFJ's or INTJ's. Because we maintain such a large network of friends and social friendships [most of which are based on us being the service providers] we have to retreat into ourselves for long periods in order to engage Ti [which is traditionally our weakest function]. At times it takes us 1-2 days or even weeks to analyze a logical situation and come up with an appropriate response to a social dilemma. And in that time, we retreat from the world. Because of this need to mull over social situations, ENFJ's are considered to be one of the most introverted of the extroverted types.

Individuals with an equally developed Ni and Fe can be happy both alone as well as around people

Individuals with a less developed Ni can only be alone for a certain amount of time before needing social contact. 

The biggest difference?

The biggest difference between an INFJ and ENFJ imo is pretty much the number of social relationships welike to have. There's never really an "enough is enough" attitude for an ENFJ until and unless those particular social interactions start draining on our emotional reserves. Even then we don't actually door-slam people - being Fe-dom doesn't allow it. Our door-slam is a begrudging one i.e. we accept if another person wants to door-slam us ... but our doors remain open. 

Thoese were some of the key differences I've noticed based on myself and interactions with other ENFJ's [the ones that I can think of right now - I'll keep adding more as I see them]. If there are more questions, I'll be happy to answer. And if you guys have differences between INFJ's and ENFJ's, please feel free to post.

Description - ENFJs ("Pedagogues" of humanity)

ENFJs are the benevolent ‘pedagogues’ of humanity. They have tremendous charisma by which many are drawn into their nurturant tutelage and/or grand schemes. Many ENFJs have tremendous power to manipulate others with their phenomenal interpersonal skills and unique salesmanship. But it’s usually not meant as manipulation — ENFJs generally believe in their dreams, and see themselves as helpers and enablers, which they usually are.

ENFJs are global learners. They see the big picture. The ENFJs focus is expansive. Some can juggle an amazing number of responsibilities or projects simultaneously. Many ENFJs have tremendous entrepreneurial ability.

ENFJs are, by definition, Js, with whom we associate organization and decisiveness. But they don’t resemble the SJs or even the NTJs in organization of the environment nor occasional recalcitrance. ENFJs are organized in the arena of interpersonal affairs. Their offices may or may not be cluttered, but their conclusions (reached through feelings) about people and motives are drawn much more quickly and are more resilient than those of their NFP counterparts.

ENFJs know and appreciate people. Like most NFs, (and Feelers in general), they are apt to neglect themselves and their own needs for the needs of others. They have thinner psychological boundaries than most, and are at risk for being hurt or even abused by less sensitive people. ENFJs often take on more of the burdens of others than they can bear.

TRADEMARK: “The first shall be last”

This refers to the open-door policy of ENFJs. One ENFJ colleague always welcomes me into his office regardless of his own circumstances. If another person comes to the door, he allows them to interrupt our conversation with their need. While discussing that need, the phone rings and he stops to answer it. Others drop in with a ‘quick question.’ I finally get up, go to my office and use the call waiting feature on the telephone. When he hangs up, I have his undivided attention!

Functional Analysis:

Extraverted Feeling

Extraverted Feeling rules the ENFJ’s psyche. In the sway of this rational function, these folks are predisposed to closure in matters pertaining to people, and especially on behalf of their beloved. As extraverts, their contacts are wide ranging. Face-to-face relationships are intense, personable and warm, though they may be so infrequently achieved that intimate friendships are rare.

Introverted iNtuition

Like their INFJ cousins, ENFJs are blessed through introverted intuition with clarity of perception in the inner, unconscious world. Dominant Feeling prefers to find the silver lining in even the most beggarly perceptions of those in their expanding circle of friends and, of course, in themselves. In less balanced individuals, such mitigation of the unseemly eventually undermines the ENFJ’s integrity and frequently their good name. In healthier individuals, deft use of this awareness of the inner needs and desires of others enables this astute type to win friends, influence people, and avoid compromising entanglements.

The dynamic nature of their intuition moves ENFJs from one project to another with the assurance that the next one will be perfect, or much more nearly so than the last. ENFJs are continually looking for newer and better solutions to benefit their extensive family, staff, or organization.

Extraverted Sensing

Sensing is extraverted. ENFJs can manage details, particularly those necessary to implement the prevailing vision. These data have, however, a magical flexible quality. Something to be bought can be had for a song; the same something is invaluable when it’s time to sell. (We are not certain, but we suspect that such is the influence of the primary function.) This wavering of sensory perception is made possible by the weaker and less mature status with which the tertiary is endowed.

Introverted Thinking

Introverted Thinking is least apparent and most enigmatic in this type. In fact, it often appears only when summoned by Feeling. At times only in jest, but in earnest if need be, Thinking entertains as logical only those conclusions which support Feeling’s values. Other scenarios can be shown invalid or at best significantly inferior. Such “Thinking in the service of Feeling” has the appearance of logic, but somehow it never quite adds up.

Extroverted Feeling

An explanation of Extroverted Feeling (Fe).

This is my personal definition of Fe, which I want to share impressions and results. To start, let's define what Feeling itself is.

What is Feeling?

Feeling is a judging function which judges and makes decisions based on a desire of harmony between the Fe user, the beings that live there and the location. To feel that the environment is well taken, understanding and respecting all personal wishes and other's wishes is very important for a Feeler.

Because of this need of harmony, Feelers like to identify and follow a chosen set of values, principles, codes of conduct and rules and guide the Fe user to an appropiate behavior in the determined situation, so it enables harmony. This does not mean that a Feeler agrees and submissively everything that it is imposed to them as appropiate or good for establishing harmony. Feelers will consider and evaluate it. A Feeler can be very confrontational and opposing as well as fight people, groups and situations because it will not help to establish the desired harmonious environment.

The nature of this function is very subjective, if we define subjectivity as something related to the subject. Feelers like to know people's POV and how it affects and it is affected by the environment. This can also include animals, plants, etc, how they are affected and how they affect the enviornment.

What is Extroverted Feeling?

Extroverted Feeling (Fe) has its origin in everything that happens outside the self, which are people, places, objects, systems, values, thoughts, actions, etc. Therefore Fe is the judging function that judges and takes decisions in base on an analysis of principles, values, systems, and thoughts that people and the Fe user hold on a determined environment.

Fe also considers the own Fe user's position, the effect they have on their locality and how locality affects them, which makes them measure how positive or negative would a determined action of the Fe user is as well as how to put personal interests (that vary greatly from person) in action with Fe.

Which things are important for someone who decides using Fe?
It varies greatly. Depends on the Fe user, their environment, background and upbringing. We can't stablish a general set of things that are important for a Fe user, because its subjective nature makes it hard to.

For example, a kid with dominant Fe was taught in his house to value efficiency, success, tough competition, an aggressive and strong approach. Selflessness and friendship were secondary, even inferior and despised to this Fe kid. When this kid has grown up, he would behave cruelly, unrespectfully and harshly in front of people who percieves them as weak, losers or not so strong-willed and the Fe user will impose them subtely and directly to be like the Fe user. These valued things, taught in childhood, are put into practice in their localities so it brings what it is thought as harmonious for a good social and environmental (not in an ecological sense this time) setting.

To be a dom/aux Fe does not mean to lack personal interests, wishes and personal POVs which are wanted to be follow by the Fe user and others. But it means that they will find the best way to stablish harmony in their environment and people, being the "best way" something that varies a lot from people.

However, there are three important things that a Fe user likes to consider when using Fe. These are explained in the most outached way as possible.

a) Social Roles
Fe users like to know everyone's social roles and how these affect a determined situation. For example, a Fe user may see a secretary to be very distinct from a boss, as they have different qualities, good and bad as well as different ambitions. They will find the best way (again, it varies greatly) to deal with them and stablish the desired link to relate to both of them.

b) Group Affinity
In every situation, a Fe user will find how a person or social group works, what they support and stand against, and accordingly to the Fe user's judgement, will seek afiliation to them, to their values, thoughts and activites. Maybe this is why Fe doms are thought to be very gregarious and sociable individuals. Fe users can very well fight and stand against other people and groups which don't support what the Fe user support.

c) Social gestures/graces and communication
Courtesy, prudence, humor, thankfulness or sensitivity can be perceived as important to a Fe user because it makes easier to stablish an understanding of a person's personal situations and how they are affected. Unthankfulness, rudeness, coldness, disagreeableness and lack of respect can also be taken into account by a Fe user because it helps to make clear the unapproval of a person, situation, etc. It also helps to respond to said and unsaid needs as well to make them know our agreement or disagreement.

Some traits associated with Fe and my explanation of them.

a) Emotional sensitivity
Although it looks like, Fe does not guarantee a developed emotional senstivity or a deeper connection with your feelings. It is however associated because of the subjective nature of this function, which seeks an understanding of people, personal data and the environment. You can be an unsensitive and utilitarian manipulator who uses Fe to follow your selfish interests establishing harmonious environments which misguide people.

b) Empathy
Empathy is the capacity to recognize other's emotional states and the circumstances that provoke it. A Fe user is not necesarilly empathetic, because emotional states aren't necessarily the main factor for making decisions, they may have other criteria like usefulness or integrity on other people. But Fe can help to develop empathy, because the social interaction that accompanies Fe can train you into recognizing emotional states.

c) Compassion
Compassion is the emotional state that arises from another being's suffering, and motivate us to help them to overcome the things that causes suffering to the other being. Compassion can also be taught through Fe, for the same reasons mentioned with empathy, but it's not a guaranteed trai

Being a pushover and shallow

They say ENFJs are such pushovers cos we are Fe-doms and we respect other people's feelings and opinions too much such that in our minds, our own feelings and opinions are not as important.

They say ENFJs are shallow. We want to be accepted and care what others think about us because we want harmony and other's opinions matter so much more than our own (back to the point of respecting others feelings and opinions too much...)

What I am?

I often challenge myself to learning things (sometimes that others think I can't do) or set very high goals for myself
I sometimes go out of my way to help people (though I don't think they realize it)
I am often obsessed with various TV-shows or actors or whatnot
I am very competitive
I am easily hurt, and will dwell upon these feelings and analyse them
I am unable to let go of hurtful feelings - I will bring them up again as soon as something similar happens
I act introvert around extroverts and extrovert around introverts or close friends
I am often called weird
I want my friends to text me or chat with me on Skype but I am annoyed when they do
I am a perfectionist but not detail-oriented
I will research or nurture my newest interest for hours at end
I flee from responsibilities yet I feel bored without them
I hate it when someone overestimates their own ability and becomes arrogant
I believe that everyone are good at their core; I dislike the black and white-view. I can't bring myself to think that anyone are behaving badly for its own sake.
I can't stand it when my friends laugh at someone behind their back, just as much as I don't want to be laughed at myself
I will only act according to the normal social rules among people I don't know well and authorities - otherwise I follow my own set of rules that I have noticed to be a bit unique
I believe in action rather than words
I am very lazy, but hard-working once I get started
I never miss a deadline set by an authority; I often miss deadlines set by myself or friends
Most of my ideas just stay in my head
I seek out strong feelings - usually love or sadness
I see everything that could go wrong
I will express strong negative feelings by jokingly complaining about whatever caused them
I feel better having one very close friend than lots of "shallow" friends
I am practical
I love to analyse behaviours
While I had no problem spending 3 weeks constantly in the company of my best friend, I will tire of hanging out in my group of friends within a few hours
I usually say something general, then give an example to clarify
I am very empathetic
I prefer to learn by trial and error, unless it's at work or something similar
I want to know the reasons
I often buy, bring or do things "just in case"
I can quite easily grasp general concepts
I have a horribly detail memory
I like to plan what I want to do, but I don't have to follow my plans
I am very bad at everyday life maintenance, but I am almost obsessive-compulsive with my computer keyboard being clean (my friends seem to find this funny)
I often catch myself buying stuff just because I want them, without really planning to do anything with them (mostly books)
I keep things even if they are of no use to me. I am very careful with all of my possessions - I don't really like the thought of breaking them through excessive use.

I fear..:
Realizing who I thought was my friend actually doesn't like me at all
Not living up to expectations
Never being anyone's first choice of company
Overestimating my own abilities
To be misunderstood
Being laughed at

I want..:
To be seen as kind and deep/hard to understand
To be understood
To impress with skills and niceness
To be seen as humble
To be truly helpful to the emotional well-being of friends
To be able to, without fear, be myself with one person
To be seen as authentic
To be accepting
To be interesting
To do things well

I need..:
Reassurance that I'm liked
To have time for myself
Something to obsess over
To have someone who is very close to me

My friends have called me: 
Kind
Selfish
Cute
Weird
Good at everything
Annoying
Smart
Quiet