'ENFPs - infatuation junkies; the possibility of love is everywhere
ENFJs - heartbreakers; they love for you to love them
INFPs - dreamers; they love the idea of love
INFJs - perfectionists; they love to perfect their idea of love '
In Reply:
"I love people to love me ... but the last thing I want to do is break hearts because that breaks mine more.
The reason why we come across as "heartbreakers" is because people fall in love with us. However, a "heartbreaker" carries the connotation of "player" for me, therefore I choose to reject the idea that I could ever be a heartbreaker in that sense.
My heart's been broken by more women than I've broken. Though I know that many women have been attracted to me / infatuated with me ... but I've given them more of myself than I could despite being in committed relationships all my life.
If the choice comes between choosing someone I love over choosing someone who loves me. I will always choose the person I love.
I don't like the idea of being in love for the sake of it. And I will never take a woman for a ride without letting her know that she's doing it willingly. The gift of companionship goes beyond "romance". The intimate closeness of something that goes beyond friendship and cannot be defined by love or romance is what I strive for in all of my relationships. "
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Type 6 and decisions
"I tend to think of the 6 psyche as always attempting to seek equilibrium. If you keep this in mind, you'll answer many of your questions.
If you give a 6 options, they often start weighing the pros and cons of each side, not every really finding any way to solidly equilibriate the situation, so they get hung up and indecisive. I suggest framing questions in such a way where ambivalence is minimized.
For example, if you ask, "where do you want to go to dinner" unless the 6 has been thinking about something for a while, you're doomed. If I can generalize, they'll start bringing up as many categories of food as possible and start looking at the strengths and weaknesses of each.
6's thoughts when they hear "where do you want to go to dinner": "Chinese is tasty and spicy, but oily, but there will probably be leftovers. Indian is friggin' amazing, but not that cost-effective, Mexican is awesome, but it's so hard to do it right; if it's cheap it's crap and if it's expensive it's too fancy. Mediterranean is always a treat, but it's often not very filling." This is exponentially compounded by the 6 trying to incorporate the implicit or explicit desires of others present!
So, whey you get a, "I don't care" what they're saying is, "there is no way to process all of this data to come to an optimal conclusion.
So, try asking, "What are you more in the mood for, Mexican or Indian?" Or, better yet, "Wanna go get some Indian food?" I think if you bypass the equilibration mechanisms of the 6 psyche and get right to the irrational desires, which are ultimately responsible for making decisions anyway, you'll get a more straightforward answer."
If you give a 6 options, they often start weighing the pros and cons of each side, not every really finding any way to solidly equilibriate the situation, so they get hung up and indecisive. I suggest framing questions in such a way where ambivalence is minimized.
For example, if you ask, "where do you want to go to dinner" unless the 6 has been thinking about something for a while, you're doomed. If I can generalize, they'll start bringing up as many categories of food as possible and start looking at the strengths and weaknesses of each.
6's thoughts when they hear "where do you want to go to dinner": "Chinese is tasty and spicy, but oily, but there will probably be leftovers. Indian is friggin' amazing, but not that cost-effective, Mexican is awesome, but it's so hard to do it right; if it's cheap it's crap and if it's expensive it's too fancy. Mediterranean is always a treat, but it's often not very filling." This is exponentially compounded by the 6 trying to incorporate the implicit or explicit desires of others present!
So, whey you get a, "I don't care" what they're saying is, "there is no way to process all of this data to come to an optimal conclusion.
So, try asking, "What are you more in the mood for, Mexican or Indian?" Or, better yet, "Wanna go get some Indian food?" I think if you bypass the equilibration mechanisms of the 6 psyche and get right to the irrational desires, which are ultimately responsible for making decisions anyway, you'll get a more straightforward answer."
ENFJs - 'Smothering' issues
"Aside from that, it has also something to do with the "smothering quota". Given unless you're a close friend, we try our best to create variety in our social network. Hanging out with one person too long damages that. People who are too clingy or uninteresting, forcing subjects we have no interest in often makes us hang out with them less cause I mean come on, there's so compatibility there in the first place.
I have an INTP friend who often likes to force subjects about his interests which is anime and cosplaying but I'm more of a FPS gamer type so in the end, rather than faking interest or wasting time, I slowly allowed the relationship to fizzle. We're still on good terms but we just don't see each other as often cause we don't have much in common at all. No point forcing it right?"
I have an INTP friend who often likes to force subjects about his interests which is anime and cosplaying but I'm more of a FPS gamer type so in the end, rather than faking interest or wasting time, I slowly allowed the relationship to fizzle. We're still on good terms but we just don't see each other as often cause we don't have much in common at all. No point forcing it right?"
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