Thursday, June 14, 2012

why ENFJs are incredible

Note to self: When you're feeling down or doubting yourself, read this! (from an ENFPs perspective)

Okay, this is long overdue and I really need to 'fess up. I tried post a different thread to you but I think what I was trying to say was in it's feeble stages. What I really want to convey is how grateful I am that ENFJs are in the world. ENFJs are absolutely wonderful people and I'm not sure you know your gifts to those around you. I think you have an "idea" but I think you like things "confirmed" by others. So here it is. Forewarning: I am very emotional and honest about this so expect this to be a long post.

I think I am more than qualified to boast about ENFJs' sensational qualities. After testing for type, all six of my very closest (physical real life) friends are ENFJs. These are males and females. Plus, the father of my child (marriage lasted 8 years) with whom I still remain friends is also an ENFJ. If it wasn't for the ENFJ, I honestly don't know how I would make it through my life.

Do you know how beautiful and how charming you are? Do you know that wherever I may go, a party or whatever, you manage to find me and approach me? You extend your hand to me in friendship and love. You take risks at being my friend and you are so loyal to me once you do. You see the good in me when I don't see it in myself.

You have such strength. You go through your life and see the good in others. Yes, sometimes you get hurt and don't understand why there wasn't "that connection" because you felt it so deeply on your end. All I can say is that "I'm sorry". And you've wasted your time on many people that were not even worthy of you. That is usually when you call me and I will listen forever. I will listen to all the pain you are suffering or have suffered. I will help you see things "in a different way" so that you can feel good about yourself again. I have absolutely no problem doing this. That is finally my chance to love you back.

It's so sweet. You always want to make sure you're doing "the right thing", that you did it "nobly". You love to "report" to me how you handled different situations. I love hearing it. We encourage each other, right? I will always validate you that you did something right. This is not because I'm into blowing smoke up your ass. This is because the reality is : You care about others and "doing the right thing" WAY more than most people on this planet. You have a good heart. I help you to trust in that. I want you to trust in yourself and to be able to need validation only from yourself.

You know you're physically gorgeous, right? I mean I know you are HOPING that you are. It's scary to reveal your insecurities. But you can relax. The reality and truth is: You ARE gorgeous. It doesn't matter when you get too skinny, too fat, too young or too old. There is a beauty you posses that will always be. Trust me, I've seen it. My ENFJ friends ages range from 21 to 56, I've seen you all through many stages and you ALL remain gorgeous. Do you ever age? Lol.



It's okay to have this wonderful "physical gift". Who is it better bestowed upon than persons who equally match that with their insides as well. You know you confuse people, right? You are so attractive, so intelligent, you are so open, AND THEN what you give emotionally!!!!!!! Do you know how that blows people's minds??

There is no other personality that is better suited for me when it comes to friendship, contact, and communication. We both can call each other at any odd time of the day. We both don't get offended if one of us has to 'go' all of a sudden. We just "get" each other. We can go long stretches without speaking to each other. We both know what that's about. We are both extraverted and have our hands in "lots of pies." We both get "busy", but then when one of us calls the other and we finally make "contact", we can talk for hours and quickly go to an emotionally deep level as if we've never left each other's side.

You ENFJs keep me "in line". No, it's not by you demanding it. I stay in "line" because I am inspired by your efficiency in this world. You have this fine balance of "taking care of business" and "loving those around you." In fact, you're AMAZING at this capability. You are wonderful, loving role-models. When I want to give up and do nothing, you show me how I can undertake EVERYTHING. When I want to turn around and throw a tantrum at the person who just hurt me, you show me how to convey the message more appropriately. Lol- THAT is your biggest gift to me. But I guess I tend to do the same for you. It's just easier giving the appropriate advice when you're not the one being hurt I guess. Why do we feel such a symbiosis with each other?

For some reason, you all ask my advice. Do you know how much of a self-esteem booster that is for me? People that I think have it together WAY more than I do, seem to crave my every word. And then when I give it, you love me for it. You're so sweet. I think you understand that I need to give too.

I know it's hard for you to ask for compliments. You are ALWAYS complimenting me. But it is so charming to see how I can turn your day around when I give you compliments. No, my compliments are not "fluff". You really deserve what I tell you. And you look and sound so wonderful receiving compliments. I don't know a better group of people to bestow compliments upon. You become so honest, so child-like. A big smile spreads across your face. You give hugs with a resounding "Thank you". You always manage to express thoughtful appreciation.

My ENFJ friends have all been "aunts" "uncle" and of course "father" to my daughter. Even though I've cut out extended family, my child has a full "family" because of you.

Thank you ENFJs. You have inspired me to no end. I owe much of what I am today to you because you believed in me when I had no idea there was even a seed of worthiness within. Thank you for always "being there" when I lock my keys in my car. Thank you for helping me with planning. THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ME. Thank you for taking the time to explain.

You are wonderful people. You glow and your are a beacon. I rarely have negative incidences with you. Even when I have become frustrated with an ENFJ, it can't last that long. Because in just a short amount of time you manage to do something amazing again.

Seriously, other divorced people drop their jaw when they witness the caring and cordial relationship between me and my ex husband. But neither one of us is good at being "mean" anyway. So we laugh at the world in all their "meanness."

ENFJ, No one understands me like you do. And I ALWAYS feel accepted by you. Please love yourselves dearly ENFJs. Your kind of love saves people's lives. I mean it.

7 comments:

  1. Ty I have had a rough day with me left feeling like I AM the only one who thinks of others first. I know I know have to put me first but ur amazing break downs of my personality r heart warming. Ty for cheerin me up with ur words of encouragement<3 big enfx hugs for all. As I wipe the tearful overflow of the joy in my heart.

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  2. You know ENFJs quite well as I am one myself. This has brought crocodile tears to my eyes. TFS!

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  3. You know ENFJs quite well as I am one myself. This has brought crocodile tears to my eyes. TFS!

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  4. I'm so happy I stumbled upon this - totally made me teary. I needed to read this more than I can express.

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  5. Thank you so much for writing this.I can't tell you how much it means to me to read this and i even got teary at the end because appreciation is EVERYTHING to us ENFJ's. It makes all the effort (we do SO much and we give SO much) worthwhile.Idon't think we ever want anything in return. We just want to know if someone noticed, someone knows, and someone 'got us'. You do. After years of being taken advantage of by selfish people, walked over and even mocked for believing too much, caring too much, being too idealistic, being too naive, being a 'sucker', thank you, for telling me we are wonderful.

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  6. Thank you for writing this. You have no idea how much I feel elevated and appreciated by this. This just hit my heart so spot on. Thank you and wish you have a great life ahead!

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  7. As a ENFJ Male, thank you for giving us an incredible writing. This is something I wish most people will understand what ENFJ are capable of. I hope you have better life and future. That goes to anyone as well.

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