I did some reflection earlier on in the shower (haha all the eureka moments happen then right!!) and i realised why i get so nervous posting on PerC. It's becuase i feel like i'm being judged by sooo many people that i don't even know. It's different from posting a story because in a story you have a character, a persona, a facade to hide behind. And blogging you can write whatever you want and take however long to get it right. In perc, your very thoughts are being analysed and it gets scary.
Especially so by being an ENFJ type 2 because im a chameleon. I scan my environment or who im with before putting on an appropriate mask or role. But with perc, i have no idea which mask to put on because i dont know these people. So i have to be just me. And how do you know you're doing the right thing to please others when you don't have clue about the people you're trying to please? Life of a people pleaser.
Doesn't mean i put on masks and step into roles that im fake or any less insincere. Its just something i do on auto and i do this as easily as breathing. It's so natural and a part of me. But i admit, sometimes i lose myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment